Alrighty, so I went to a friends house for dinner on Sunday night.  She is a good friend that shared dating adventures with me in Colorado.  I would say she knows me pretty well and I just love her to death.  Melissa Wolfe Taylor, yes it's you!  :)  while eating dinner the topic of dating came up and I just remember blurting out, "I hate dating"!  Followed with her husband laughing.  He obviously understands where I'm coming from and I'm sure he is relieved to no longer be in the dating game! Mostly because he married one of the coolest women alive!
Seriously, I hate dating now that I'm older, and I'm sure I'm not the only one!  In my teens and twenties it was so much fun.  You were just happy he was cute and paid for dinner.   Well I can buy my own food now, so.... why not try to impress me!  I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect but maybe Mr. close to perfect.  Is that asking too much too soon?  I'm sure nothing will come of this post except me venting to the universe.  So since this is my blog, I'm just gonna throw a few things out there and even if it helps just one man, well, I will feel better.  :)

Just a few of my own tips for you single men out there:

1- Pay for EVERYTHING and don't use coupons and IF she even offers, don't let her chip in until you've been dating for a few months and even then, STILL PAY!
2- Talk about her and ask her questions.  Don't brag about how you were a star athlete in HIGH SCHOOL!  It's been long enough you should have accomplished something since then ;). 
3- Don't ever tell her how lucky she is to be out with you.  It's the other way around!
4- look your best!  don't wear a shirt with a hole in it!
5- Don't assume the sale...let her show YOU she is interested.
6- Don't get touchy to fast.  If we want you to hold our hand, kiss us, etc, we'll let you know.
7- Don't talk about your ex-wife and your ex-girlfriend and how you really, "messed that one up".
8-Walk us back to the car if we're meeting you.  If you drove, get the door for us!  Women do appreciate it!  We really do like the old fashion gentlemen!
9- Walk us to the door, don't drop us off while the car is still running.  TACKY!
10- If you want to go out again, be a man and ask, don't text me and ask me 10 minutes after you leave. AND speaking about leaving... leave me wanting...wait a day before you call or text AND don't text to ask me if you text me too much!
Those are just some ideas from my past experiences.  Just for fun Here is a link from a fun web site.  http://www.dumblittleman.com/2009/03/10-first-date-tips-for-modern-gentleman.html

AND another good one http://artofmanliness.com/2010/05/19/what-to-carry-on-a-first-date-the-gentlemans-arsenal/

I just watched a movie that got me thinking....Are those that are successful with love lucky or smart?

I always thought that two people who had found a deep, trusting and  romantic love were lucky.  That they were at the right place at the right time.  That everything magically fell in order and made it possible for them to find happiness.  Oh.. if life were like the movies!

"Life is the sum of all your choices." ~Albert Camus

I believe in choice and consequence.  The sum of our lives are choices + actions. 

When people make decisions, we do so with the information we have in front of us.  We weigh the pro's and con's, the outcome of the decision and move forward with that we feel is right - Hopefully that is.
Sometimes we don't have all the facts.  Sometimes we don't even have the correct information in front of us before the decisions are made.  We simply do our best.  Hoping all will result with a good outcome. 

February 08, 2008 was a lucky day for me, I've always thought.  It was Friday afternoon and I was at work.  My boss and his assistant were out of town for the week and I was the only one still at the office.  Overly excited for a weekend in Vegas with my girlfriends, I was counting down the minutes until I was free for the fun filled weekend.   I was most likely surfing the Internet wasting time when two men walked in.  For comedy's sake, let's call them dumb and dumber.  "Hey we're here to see Mr. BLEEP, (let's just call him BLEEP instead of another four letter word I'd probably like to use".  "I'm sorry, he's out of the office".  "Well, I just need to show my co-worker some work I did, so we're just gonna go look in his office."  REALLY?  I remember  thinking, who do these guys think they are? "I'm sorry, I can't just let you walk around BLEEP's office".  I agreed to show them a similar office that wasn't laced with bank statements and million dollar business deals.  I led them into the office when his co-worker, complimented on the finish work Mr. Dumb had done.  Without hesitation, Mr. Dumb replies, thank you, I think I did an amazing job myself."  I snicker under my breath,  "what is it about you men that think you're always so good at what you do!?!?"  (What a great way to represent the company, right?? lol)
"excuse me?" Mr. Dumb replies.  "Are you married?" - He asks.  "I'm divorced."  He smiles, looks me up and down and says, "now it all makes a lot more sense."  "What is that suppose to mean"? I snickered.  "nothing" is all he said.  I put my hand on the door knob motioning it was time to leave.  I went back to my desk and Mr. Dumb kept talking to me.  "So ...you should come hang out with us tonight".  I grabbed my planner and started thumbing pages, "well I'm going to Vegas with the girls this weekend, then next week I have blah blah and then....I'm just really busy."  He continues talking about what now I can't remember and I grab a note pad and begin jotting down my digits.  I slapped the post it note on the desk and he quickly snatched it up.  I don't remember if we said anything else, but Dumb and Dumber were gone.  I went about my Vegas weekend and regular life when I received a text a week later asking how Vegas was.  It was Mr. Dumb.  After that moment followed a memorable first date, lasagna valentine's dinner and two more years together. 

I told you the lengthy, cheesy story because I always felt lucky I worked that day.  That he text me, and simply that I met him.  My friends and family saw a sparkle in my eye and an excitement that they hadn't seen in a long time. I had made the choice to fall in love with him.  I let myself have feelings for someone again. It was an amazing, "lucky" feeling........ while it lasted.  I wish it would have lasted.  I wish my luck hadn't ran out. 

I know now that it wasn't luck.  It was a stream of choices and consequences.  Because of them, I am a different person.   I believe in love like I never have before.  I've felt it.  I've had it.  I've lost it. 

I have make the choice to move forward with my life.  All I can do is take what I've learned and continue to make choices that put me on the path of where I want to be.  Right now I don't know what the big result has in store.  I'm just taking my choices day by day.  Hoping  to collect more facts and information along the way, because I  know for certain I don't have all the facts right now. 

You often hear people say, "knowing what I know now, I'd still do it all over again".  In relation to the story I just told, I believe the same.  Even though I don't believe things happen because of luck, but because of choices, It's comforting to sometimes believe that, " If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities".  Because let's face it, who really ever wants to face reality!?!?

XOXO - Sassy

I had a little thought today.....
Dating, (at least for me) is like listening to the radio. 
I LOVE music; Country, classical, rap, hip/hop, rock, oldies, you name it all and I love it.  (Just don't name Nine Inch Nails and we're good).
There are some songs that really move me.  Make me feel as though I can stretch to greater lengths; Want to be a better person.  On the opposite side of the spectrum, there are songs that make me ill. I can't stand them.  Never want to hear the music & lyrics again!
SAME GOES FOR MEN.
There are some awesome guys out there.  I would place a small fraction of them into one category I'll call, "Chicago".  Like the band Chicago...These are the classics.  "Everybody needs a little time away," I heard her say, "from each other.""Even lover's need a holiday far away from each other."
You know the type of men I'm talking about.  The men your Grandmother would be tickled pink to see you settle down with.  As for me, I love my Grandmothers, but to these men, I usually find myself telling them, "everybody needs a little time away".

Let's move onto another category: The oldies.  You know; Ritchie Valens, Bill Haley, Buddy Knox and my personal favorite, Dion & Belmonts who sang, "Dont' know why I love you like I do, don't know why I do. Don't know why I love you, don't know why I care I just want your love to share I wonder why, I love you like I do."  Well let me tell you why I haven't purchased this album, It's because I'm tired of asking myself, "I wonder why I love you."  That's why you're called an oldie, because it gets old wondering!

While some women prefer this category for the flashy life....The fast cars, the bling, the cribs, whatever it may be.  I just don't know how I could love the hip hop man.  I love your music, but just as Akon sang, "smack that"..  Honey, I wanna "smack Your  face" for the way you treat women like sex objects.  (Not you personally Akon, just the message it's sending).

So many songs could sum up my love/dating life.  Peter Frampton sings, "Baby I Love Your Way".  How I wish I could find a guy who would just agree with  my way.  Pete Townshend sings, "Let My love Open the Door".  Do guys still open doors for women?  Hmm....sure would be nice.  While my roller coaster ride of relationships have taken me to "Crazy love".  As far as Nazareth and I are concerned, "Love Hurts".  Foreigner and I are left behind in the shadows singing, "I Want to Know What Love is".  Without fail, the roller coaster finishes it's run and comes to a stop.  Without fail, something always makes me wanna get back on and ride again, must me the, "Crazy Little Thing Called Love".

You know when you're listening to the radio and a certain song comes on and you listen. It's not really your favorite song, but it will do. Eventually you grow tired of the song and hit, "search". You scam over some other songs that aren't your style or are simply of no interest. Then you stumble upon a song that you like even more, however it's almost over. Just like dating people. If you had never settled for the song that you rally didn't like but thought it would be, "okay". You missed out on the song you really wanted to hear. From now on, no more stopping and listening to the songs I don't really wanna hear. I'm gonna keep hitting the "seek" button until I find what I really want...Then my friends, I'm gonna ROCK OUT and SING!

Until then, I'm telling myself; "Don't Stop Believin".  Trust that "Love Will Find A Way". Know that "Love Is Alive" and I have "The Best Of My Love" to give.  When I find my song, I will be his, "Brown Eyed Girl" and it will be "More Than A Feeling".  It will be, "My Love Song".