“You and I will meet again, When we're least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won't say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again” - Tom Petty

Last night I had a wonderful dream.

I didn't ever want to wake up.

My dream felt so real, so warm, so happy.

I was dreaming about a very special person in my life.

Quinton Jay

June 1, 1990 my beautiful sister Linda gave birth to her first baby.

Quinton Jay DeCarlo

Linda lived in Colorado at the time so I didn't get to meet my Nephew until October 1990.

The first time I met Quinton I knew he was very special. My Mom and Linda walked into the kitchen with a car seat. "Can I hold him, Can I hold him"???

I sat on the sofa and my sister laid him in my arms. I didn't dare move or touch him anywhere. I didn't even want to breathe. I also didn't want to let go because Quinton was very sick.

Just a few months after Quinton was born he was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy.

He was so weak, that the first time I ever saw Quinton he had a feeding tube
that went up his nose and into his stomach.

He rarely smiled or moved like most babies because of his muscle deterioration.

The first night he was at our house and while I was holding him I read the book, Love You Forever. If you're familiar with the book you know that it says:

“I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
as long as I’m living
my baby you’ll be.”

My mom and sister were in the kitchen while I read to my sweet baby Quinton. I was whispering to Quinton because I didn't want anyone to hear that I had changed the words especially for him. I remember rocking him and leaning close to his ear and whispering, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as you're living, my Nephew you'll be".

I don't remember holding Quinton ever again after that night. I felt selfish asking my sister if I could hold him when I knew she probably wanted to hold him while she still could. I don't recall a time when she wasn't cuddling her sweet baby. I remember waking up early one morning to find her asleep in the recliner chair, it looked as though she had been there all night long, just holding him. I knew my sister Linda was trying to be strong,

but I remember the fear and sadness in her eyes.

Soon after it was Christmas. I think Quinton got more presents than all of us combined.

That was Quinton's first and only Christmas here on earth.

December 26th he became very sick and they took him to

Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake City.

I remember my mom driving my brother Josh and I up to the hospital to see Quinton. I didn't know until I got to the hospital, that I was there to say goodbye.

Linda was right next to his crib holding his little hand.

Quinton's favorite song; Give, Said the little stream was playing on the cassette player.

I remember looking into his little crib and he looked at me with his big brown eyes. I just kept looking at him until my Mom said we had to leave.

By the time I woke up the next morning, my sweet Nephew Quinton Jay

had left his sick little body and went back to his heavenly home.

Last night in my dream it was the year 2011. My entire family was home for a holiday and everything seemed as normal (or abnormal) as it always is. I was in the family room at my parents house and I saw a little baby swaddled in blue lying on the sofa. I went to pick up the baby and his little face was just as I remembered it. It was my nephew Quinton. He didn't have a feeding tube, he wasn't sick, he was perfect. I held him, talked to him, held him close to my cheek and just loved him. I said to my mom, "Quinton is here". She replied, "he's always been here Kristie, he never left us."   I was so excited and tried to show him to the rest of my family but nobody else could see him. They all thought I was simply talking about him. In a way that was perfect because that meant it was just he
and I in our own little baby snuggling world.
what I understand from my dream is that he had been a baby for 21 years and would always stay a baby. He was always a perfect little baby. I also remember telling my mom, "he knows and feels our love, always, he knows how much we love him. Every day he knows that".
I am very thankful I had this dream. I am thankful because even for a few moments in a dream, after 21 years I felt as though he was really in my arms again.

Although he is not here physically, his spirit is still very real. He is still with us, every day he is with us and he knows how much we love and miss him.
Sometimes death seems so final
I'm thankful it's not
I'm thankful our spirits live beyond death
Quinton was only here for 6 short months, yet his life has great meaning.
He continues to bring me love and happiness.
It's no surprise his favorite song has such a powerful message.

"Give," said the little rain,
"Give, oh, give, give, oh, give,
Give," said the little rain
As it fell upon the flowers.
"I'll raise their drooping heads again,"
As it fell upon the flowers.

"Give," then, what you can give,
"Give, oh, give, give, oh, give,
Give," then, what you can give,
There is something all can give.
Do as the streams and blossoms do,

Thank you for giving me so much love sweet baby Q.
Thank you for giving all you had to give
I miss you always
Can't wait to see you again soon!
XOXO Aunt Kristie