When life seems to fall into place.
My life has taken on a lot of changes this last year.
For me, change is hard. I don't like change.
“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
― Eckhart Tolle
I bought my condo in Aug of 2013. Good/Scary/Exciting
I cut ties with an on again/off again dead end relationship. Heathly/Courageous/Unknowing
I turned 22, I mean 32..I think! Inevitable/Growth/Insght
Most importantly, I changed myself by learning to love myself...again.
I got to a point in my life where I was done with the drama.
I was done with banging my head against the wall.
I was done trying to make others happy, love me, accept me.
I decided to focus on myself and put myself as top priority.
This sounds selfish.
I learned that by putting myself at the top of the list, I love and appreciate others more.
I see who's important in my life.
I see who has loved and accepted me through my highs and lows.
Because I am happier, I want to make those around me happier.
Because I am happier, others can feel my love for them.
Because I am happier, life seems to be falling into place.
When I say, "falling" it sounds so effortless.
It sounds easy.
It wasn't...It's not.
It's been a challenging year.
I basically had to accept the things I cannot change.
I've had to put more faith in God.
I had to let go.
My entire childhood I envisioned my life as a wife and mother.
That was MY plan.
It was simple really, you just grow up, get married and have cute babies that you get to dress in little outfits, go on play dates with your girlfriends and her kids. Send your husband off to work while you iron his shirts, plant flowers in the yard and watch Days of Our Lives.
It could still be part of THE plan someday.
I just had to realize that for now, it's time for plan B, plan ME!
Recently one of my best friends whom I grew up with, who had never been married, met her man.
I am so happy for her. She is so deserving of this, but under the surface I was sad.
Secretly I thought, "what about me"?
I know she must have been inspired to tell me, "Kristie, all I can say is that someday, someone will come into your life, when least expected. Love and accept you for who and what you are and he will be everything you didn't think you deserved.
Sounds simple right?
It changed something in me.
I decided to let go of the worry, wonder and waiting.
I decided to put complete faith that I am deserving of what God wants for me.
He hasn't forgotten about me.
It helped me see that I all I have to do is be my own #1
I no longer have put my needs and wants on the back burner for what others want.
Interesting how becoming more selfish in a way has helped me become the opposite.
I'm sure you've heard at least 10 times that I started a business with Thirty-One gifts.
I'll be honest, I started for the financial opportunity.
On a phone call with my Director she told me. "It's not about the money. It's who you can become and what you can do with the money. Once you forget about the $ signs, you will be amazed at what can happen". She then challenged me to look into what Thirty-One stands for.
I found that the company is about women.
Building confidence in women, friendships with women, etc.
Ironically what I was searching for.
It's named after the scripture Proverbs 31.
I thought, "I should know what I'm selling". So this is what I read:
Far beyond jewels is her value.
Her husband trusts her judgment;
he does not lack income.
She brings him profit, not loss,*
all the days of her life.
She seeks out wool and flax
and weaves with skillful hands.
Like a merchant fleet,*
she secures her provisions from afar.
She rises while it is still night,
and distributes food to her household,
a portion to her maidservants.
She picks out a field and acquires it;
from her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength;
she exerts her arms with vigor.*
She enjoys the profit from her dealings;
her lamp is never extinguished at night.*
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her fingers ply the spindle.*
She reaches out her hands to the poor,
and extends her arms to the needy.
She is not concerned for her household when it snows—
all her charges are doubly clothed.
She makes her own coverlets;
fine linen and purple are her clothing.
Her husband is prominent at the city gates
as he sits with the elders of the land.*
She makes garments and sells them,
and stocks the merchants with belts.
She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and laughs at the days to come.*
She opens her mouth in wisdom;
kindly instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over* the affairs of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband, too, praises her:
“Many are the women of proven worth,
but you have excelled them all.”
Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting;
the woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.*
Acclaim her for the work of her hands,
and let her deeds praise her at the city gates.
I feel that when I'm "girding myself with strength; I can exert my arms with vigor"
I can now "laugh at the lays to come" without fear.
I know this because as I'm focusing on myself, trying to becoming a better person, I can hopefully help others with my talents and wisdom.
I guess this whole post boils down to the fact that once I learned to let go and put more trust in God,
change happened.
What I needed and wanted came into my life when least expected.
I learned change is good.
Change makes us leave our comfort zone and and discover
things about ourselves that we didn't know were there.
things about ourselves that we didn't know were there.
I love change!
It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C. S. Lewis
1 comment:
Kristie, He'll never forget about you. Neither will I.
PS: Have you posted any more you tubes lately? I am in need of some Kristie instructional video time. :)
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